Understanding Happiness; 11 simple ways to always stay happy in life, no matter what!

Happiness is the outcomes of our mind’s reaction to an external stimulus. It is relative, subjective and dynamic. It is less due to external factors and more due to one’s state of mind.

What makes us happy today may not do the same to us tomorrow and vice-versa, and also what makes me happy may not make you happy and vice-versa. How our mind perceives happiness is a complicated cognitive process. In this article we shall look at simple tips to be happy in life but before that, lets first understand happiness itself!

One thing is certain though, it is based on our psychological makeup, which in turn is influenced by the conditioning that our mind goes through, especially during our early & formative years. This, however, continues throughout our lives and experiences continue to add perceptions to the brain’s perception repository. That is why the definition, causes and the intensity of happiness varies from individual to individual.

Happiness by itself has no meaning and is indescribable. One can feel happiness only in the backdrop of sorrow. For example, a starving man would feel extreme happiness on being served an average meal, while the same meal could make a well-fed man really unhappy. These two men can even be the same individual in different points of time. Happiness thus, is very relative. Its presence or absence is the result of favorable or unfavorable comparisons across people at a given point of time, or across points of time for a given person. Whenever there is a favorable comparison, there is happiness and sadness otherwise.

The Theory Of Relativity Of Happiness

On the sadness-happiness continuum, as the sadness reduces, the mind begins to feel happiness, though it is impossible to tell where on the continuum, the mind starts to change its perception from being sad to being happy. If we were able to identify that point on the continuum, we would have discovered the perfect neutral state of mind, but it is not possible because the state of mind oscillates along the continuum between the two extremes all the time!

At any point on the continuum, the mind experiences an emotion that can only be described, both quantitatively & qualitatively, in comparison to what the mind would feel when at any other point on the rest of the continuum.

There is no perfect happiness, sadness or neutrality. The location of the state of mind on the continuum at any point is actually a factor of sadness. As the sadness reduces, the perception of happiness increases. The continuum extends to infinity on either sides. This is called the Theory Of Relativity Of Happiness. The factors that cause happiness perception change from person to person in a given time frame and from time to time for a given person.

How to Always Stay Happy

Having argued above that happiness is a measure of sadness, a simple hack to be happy is to stay on the right side of the sadness-happiness continuum. How to do that? – By reducing sadness so that your mind starts to perceive happiness. Here are the 11 time-tested methods to discover and unlock happiness and to stay away from an unhappy state of mind.

1. Remember & Recover – If an incident from the past is making you unhappy, don’t push it under the carpet. Take time to remember it, let your mind indulge in the sorrow and then get rid of it. This way, you are giving your mind an opportunity to sort unpleasant moments out of your conscious mind. Remember A Surgeon’s Knife Cuts, But Heals.

2. Indulge In Life – Don’t feel guilty about indulging in your favorite activities. Its just one life after all!

3. Sort Emotional Clutter – Our minds, like computers, collect a lot of clutter. Find time regularly to let your mind clear its clutter and organize your thoughts. The best way to do this is to spend some time alone that too without doing anything. How much time your mind requires to declutter differs from person to person. It could be from a couple of hours every week to a few days every year.

4. Follow Your Heart – Let your heart do the choosing. Whom are you friends with, where do you live what do you do, are the matters where your heart should get equal voting rights as your brain. So strike a balance!!

5. Think Good Of Yourself – Even if you are the only person in the whole world who thinks good about you that’s ok. Unless you yourself feel good about yourself, no one else is going to make you feel good.

6. Don’t Seek Validation – While it is important to accomplish milestones and fulfill the expectations of people who are important in your life, don’t always seek validation from others. This often is the single worst factor that causes unhappiness in people. Be your own judge, mostly.

7. Set Your Own Standards – Wherever possible, don’t look at others to set benchmarks for you. Everyone on this planet is different, and no one understands you better than yourself. So set your goals and stay honest to yourself. You will neither fail nor be unhappy.

8. Don’t Fight Unhappiness – You cannot be eternally happy. There will be unhappy times but don’t prolong them by fretting and fuming over your unhappiness. The more you actively fight, the more you drown in your sorrows. Its like quicksand, the more you struggle, the deeper you sink. Instead, stay calm and let it run its course. That way your are at least shortening the duration of unhappiness.

9. Don’t Despair – If life gives you lemons, make lemonade, lol, but the point is, if you had it rough, don’t make it rougher by dwelling in the dark dungeons of despair. Try to make up by finding alternative means of happiness. Give life a chance.

10. Forgive and forget – Do not carry the emotional baggage on your shoulders. Let time do its job. There is nothing in this world that time can’t fade away. Learn to forgive and forget.

11. Don’t Pretend To Always Be Happy – Finally if you are unhappy, you are unhappy. Trying to pretend to be happy, to you yourself more than others, is very toxic internally. There is nothing wrong in being unhappy sometimes. For only after being briefly unhappy can you learn to relish happiness!!

Always remember, happiness is not outside, its within. You just need to discover the sources of happiness deep inside your heart. There is a mine of happiness in there, go ahead and explore it with these simple tips to be happy in life!

There is no path to happiness; happiness is the path
Buddha